Oxford street, near my home

Journal Entry 68

January 1st, 2007

"New Year, New Beginning"

 

This is probably the last big update I'll send out. I was very curious to know what I'd end up doing when I arrived in the US after the end of my 4 year, 3 month trip. And, as was the case throughout the years I was traveling, I find myself in a situation I never would have imagined a few months ago.

What have you done?
Two months with my parents in the small town I grew up in. Hanging out, running on country roads, yard work, enjoying the end of a beautiful summer. Then I was contacted about a job opportunity. I took it. Moved back to the big city, living at my brother's house. Got back on the unstopping treadmill, a lot sooner than I expected. But the path was drawn for me; I had only to recognize it and follow. The last two months have been a whirlwind of work, visiting friends, and traveling to Europe on business. Amongst all this, I've been rock climbing, gone camping with friends, and celebrated Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.

Do you miss travel?
No. It was a luxury to travel until I was ready to quit. I honestly haven't ever wished I was still on the road. I still have friends on the road, and am very happy to follow their travels from a comfortable chair. The traveling world is so different. I often felt that people at home couldn't really comprehend it. And now I know that that's true because it's the same for me, in a way.

How is it to be back?
Completely normal. Completely strange. Hard to say. I'm a bit of an isolationist. I can't quite (and don't really want to) regain passion for sports, malls, electronics, and other stuff that I used to feel part of but don't anymore. I still fit in to this keep-busy-to-keep-from-thinking-too-much society, but seem to (inwardly if not outwardly) take on the role of observer more than participant.

Are you happy to be back?
I loved living with my parents again. I enjoy work. I enjoy living in the city with my brother. I enjoy yoga and hot showers and a good bed. I enjoy commuting and grocery shopping. But I don't see it all in quite the same way. It's been an introspective few months, and I'm far from sorted out yet. While I haven't succeeded in living the boring life I'd longed for, it's been good. And full. It seems that I manage to fit years of life into short periods of existence. A (ful?)filling, if exhausting, way to live.

Where was your favorite spot, and how many countries did you visit anyway?
I don't know, everywhere. Lots, 90-something I think.

Are you going to write a book?
I don't know. I'll think about it some day. I'd like to create something tangible from these past years of existence. I believe it all has to have been for something, and more than just an intensive personal rearrangement. There has to be more to it than to come home, get a job, and move on as if nothing had happened. We'll see...

What's next?
My dream of being a bit more settled is on hold. My company is transferring me to the UK and I move to Oxford in two days. The job seems to have been created for me, or me for it. Accidental good fortune seems to be my forte, so I'll continue to run with it. I'm excited to have the chance to actually live somewhere now, a new sort of temporary permanency.

I spend a lot of time imagining life, and am still very much an idealist, some sort of slightly more sane modern-day Quixote perhaps. Few specifics, lots of ideas, however impractical. I've not yet quite grown up, and still look for a way to integrate my little fairytale world into this bigger, real one. As always, everything's worked out perfectly so far, which is the same as saying it's worked out the only way it can. I've no reason to think that will change, and am eager to see what's around the next corner.

"Everyone's seeking the same thing: an imaginary place, their own castle in the air, and their very own special corner of it." (Haruki Murakami)

"The face is familiar, but the eyes, the eyes, give it all away." (Tim Booth)

"Roland's lips parted in a humorless grin. 'It will work.'
'How can you say that?' Ted asked.
'Because it has to,' the gunslinger said. 'I see no other way.'"(Stephen King)

"Like I'm being shoved from behind by some huge heartbeat, I continue on and on through the forest." (Haruki Murakami)

 


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